Soft Apocalypse Panic
"Everything’s fine. Until it’s not. Then it’s fine again. Maybe."
You oscillate between baking banana bread and prepping for societal collapse. Existential dread is the new baseline. CNN meets tarot cards meets doom memes.
Energetic Diagnosis
Crown chakra flooded with contradictory data. Nervous system seesawing. Future shock fatigue detected.
Prescribed Dose
- Ground. Breathe. Drink water. No, really—hydrate like you mean it.
- Limit prophecy intake (news, social media, psychic spirals).
- Wear something talismanic to remind you: you're still here.
Suggested Remedies
- Celtic Goddess Triage
- Ready to Wear
- Talk to the attending
Prognosis
The world might be ending softly, but your sanity doesn’t have to go with it. Rituals, boundaries, and high-grade ridiculousness = essential.
Active Clinical Trials
Experimental prescriptions currently available for trial. Limited availability, early access to symbolic armor before general release.