
The Glitter That Would Not Die
Glitter never leaves. It migrates, multiplies, and settles into your DNA. You thought you vacuumed it. You didn’t.
The Annoyance
Weeks later, a single fleck glints from your sleeve. You pause, aware the universe still mocks you for that one night of enthusiasm. Glitter is joy turned invasive species.
The Absurd Diagnosis
Condition: Post-Festive Particle Disorder.
Symptoms: chronic sparkle exposure, involuntary shimmer, and spiritual fatigue caused by microplastic haunting.
A Low-Key Cure
Accept your fate. The glitter has chosen you. Wash your clothes again, pretend it helped, then move on sparkling quietly through your slow-fashion era.
The Witty Insight
Some stains fade. Glitter evolves.
Conclusion
Nothing endures like synthetic celebration. Handmade garments will fray. Memory will dull. But glitter—glitter transcends mortality.